Changing your personality, Here is what to do

Changing your personality may not be easy, and may never be completely possible. But researchers do believe that there are things you can do to change certain parts of your personality. These aspects exist below the level of these broad characteristics, which may lead to your behavior and thinking in your daily life.

Therefore, the first step in making a real, lasting personality adjustment seems to be to criticize any self-development plan that touts immediate or even radical. Just as it takes many years to develop thoughts, feelings, and behavior patterns, it also takes some time to change them. But the good news is that change is possible.

What is personality?

Personality is a way of thinking, feeling, and behaving. Personality contains emotions, attitudes, and opinions, and is most clearly expressed in interactions with other people. It includes inherent and acquired behavioral characteristics that distinguish one person from another, and can be observed in people’s relationships with the environment and social groups.

Factors that shape personality

To understand whether personality can be changed, we must first understand what exactly causes personality. Is personality shaped by our genetics (nature) or our upbringing, experience, and environment (nurturing)? In the past, theorists and philosophers often took one approach to the other, advocating the importance of nature or cultivation, but most thinkers today would agree that the mixture of these two forces ultimately shapes our personality.

Factors that change your personality

Not only that, the continuous interaction between genetics and the environment can help shape the expression of personality. For example, you may be genetically inclined to be friendly and laid-back, but working in a high-stress environment may cause you to be more grumpy and nervous than in a different environment.

Tips for changing your personality

At many moments in your life, you may find certain aspects of your personality that you wish you could change. You can even set goals and work hard to solve these potential problem characteristics. Generally speaking, many experts believe that it can be very difficult to make real and lasting changes to a wide range of characteristics. So, if you are not satisfied with certain aspects of your personality, can you really do something to change it?

Change your personality

Learn new habits:

Psychologists have found that people who show positive personality traits (such as kindness and honesty) have developed habitual reactions, and these reactions have become stuck. 8 Habits can be learned, so changing your habitual reactions over time is a way to create personality changes. Of course, it is never easy to develop new habits or break old ones, and it takes time and serious effort. With enough practice, these new behavior patterns will eventually become second nature.

Challenge your self-belief:

If you believe that you cannot change, then you will not change. If you try to become more extroverted, but you believe that your introversion is a fixed, permanent and unchanging trait, then you will never try to become more sociable. But if you believe that your personal attributes are changeable, you are more likely to work hard to become more gregarious.

Focus on your efforts:

Dweck’s research has always shown that it is essential to praise effort rather than ability. 7 Instead of thinking “I am very smart” or “I am very talented”, it is better to replace such phrases with “I work really hard” or “I have found a good solution to this problem.” ” By shifting to a more growth mindset rather than a fixed mindset, you may find it easier to experience real change and growth.

Play a role:

The active psychologist Christopher Peterson realized early on that his introverted personality could have an adverse impact on his academic career. In order to overcome this problem, he decided to start showing extroversion when needed, such as giving lectures to the whole class or giving speeches at conferences. In the end, these behaviors just become second nature. Although he considers himself still an introvert, he has learned how to become an extrovert when needed.

Prepare for success

When making any efforts to make changes, it is important to keep in mind the following points:

  1. Understand “why” you want to change: To make lasting change, you must have a convincing and meaningful reason to explain why you want to make a change. It must be from the inside out-not from the outside in. You must see the reasons for the change and believe in the benefits of doing so. If you try to change your personality because everyone else thinks you should, but deep down, you don’t believe that it is essential, or feel that it is important, no matter how much you try—change will not persist.
  2. Know exactly “what” you want to change: You might say, I want to be a better person, but you must have a clear and specific understanding of what this means. What does that look like? Do you want to be happier, more optimistic, or disciplined? Do you want to be kinder, more considerate, or less selfish? Do you want to be more social and personable instead of ‘all business’? Be specific. If you don’t know what you want, how will you get it?
  3. Take action on the “way” you want to change: You cannot change your personality just by thinking. Real change, especially things that have been with you for a long time, requires time and dedicated effort. It is not easy to start doing different things in different ways and show the behavior you want to show. You need to develop a habit. How long will it take? Studies have shown that it may take 18 to 254 days for a person to form a new habit, while it takes an average of 66 days for a new behavior to occur automatically.

How to use visualization to change habits

This is what you need to do: Imagine yourself talking fluently, easily and confidently. Imagine how these words flow out of your mouth, how you enjoy expressing yourself, and how everyone pays close attention to every word you say. When using this technique, you build a perfect scene in your mind, no matter what you want to accomplish.

Know yourself:

Many ancient philosophers, from Aristotle to Socrates and Pythagoras, touted the benefits of “knowing oneself.” “One of the most important things to do before you try to change yourself is to understand yourself. Through self-reflection and self-reflection, you can better understand yourself. Another good way to gain self-awareness and learn more about yourself and your personality is to take an assessment. There are all kinds of great analytical tools out there. Some of the most popular include; MBTI (preference), Advantage finder (advantage), DISC (personality) and my personal favorite—instinct drive (core drive and motivation).

Be loyal to yourself:

There are many reasons why we want to change who we are-many of which boil down to adapting or meeting the requirements or expectations of others. We often wear different masks or show different parts of ourselves according to the situation we are in. However, if you keep changing to meet the needs and expectations of others, you will be like a ship on the sea, no matter where the wind takes you.


Although some parts of your personality may be hardwired and stable, you are not stuck. You don’t just have to live with traits that may hurt your life or relationship. By having a clear and clear understanding of what you want to change, a deep understanding of why you want to change, and a dedicated time and energy, you can change your personality. However, remember to be careful not to make changes because others say you should. Make sure that the changes you want to create are consistent with who you are, who you want to be, and ultimately how you want to appear in the world.

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